Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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