Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
