tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so let's talk penis.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
