Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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