I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
