So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
