How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
