all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
