So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
