god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
