Soap is not a condiment
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
