Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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