Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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