Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
