im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
