i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
