Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
