..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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