dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
