First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
