why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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