So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
