dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The struggles of a small town man whore
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
