im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize