laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Still dying that you shit outside
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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