wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
