I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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