one two three fourrrrnication!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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