So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
