I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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