Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
