I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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