Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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