she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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