So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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