Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
