Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
