'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
