Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
