Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
