I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I could make wine with my vomit
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm too high and old for this...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
