i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
