Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
