Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
