On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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