a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
