I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I want a musical about memes.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
