They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
