butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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