Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
