I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
