Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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