I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
