dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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