Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
